Get all 17 Cosmo releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Just What We Need! Another White Man to Save the Day!, Cop This - THE ALBUM!, Dr. Folkenstein, James Nelson Climbs the Column!!!, The Covid Tapes, Twelve Tidy Tunes from the Timeline - Cosmo & the Welshgarian Mockney All-Stars, I Think You've Got Issues!, Hiraeth, and 9 more.
1. |
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Wetherspoons is the nation’s boozer
We pull the pints there and bring you all your nosh
But when Covid-19 came to town
The boss got stingy with his dosh
He flat out refused to pay us
He said “Hey! Get a job in Tesco!”
He needed some gentle persuasion
So this is how we told him where to go
We’re gonna spray paint your boozers till we get paid
Tim-Tim-Timmy-Timmy Martin!
(X 2)
Sorry Tim, scared about your nest egg?
Your money stashed for a rainy day?
Or in your proletarian proof bunker
Did you think you’d never see the day
When you had to open your wallet
And fork out for the ones who make your pile?
In the time of a global pandemic
You’re thinking of yourself the whole while
We’re gonna spray paint your boozers till we get paid
Tim-Tim-Timmy-Timmy Martin!
(X 2)
So listen, all you business of Britain
You money people all around the world
This ain’t 2008, mate
You’ll get back the nonsense that you hurled
We’re not paying for you crisis
You won’t find us carrying the can
Remember your pal Tim Martin
He couldn’t follow through his plan.
We’re gonna spray paint your boozers till we get paid
Tim-Tim-Timmy-Timmy Martin!
We’re gonna spray paint your boozers
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2. |
You've Got It Now!
03:02
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You’ve got it now, you’ve got it now, you’ve got it now…
You peddlers of nonsense and mischief and garbage
You’re crying to the experts now
Once you reckoned all you needed was to FEEL right
Evidence could just take a bow
But hey what happened? Reality came
And kicked you right there in your behind
How’s that herd immunity going
Somewhat troubling, don’t you find?
You’ve got it now, you’ve got it now, you’ve got it now…
The hospitals are filling up with bodies
It’s just a little flu, you said
Just like austerity will sort out our problems
We’re the ones counting our dead
But hang on a minute, what’s going on?
Seems you can’t ESCAPE from your crime
Check out NOW who’s self isolating
Your money can’t hide you this time
You’ve got it now, you’ve got it now, you’ve got it now…
Welcome to our world, oh beloved leaders
How’s it feel-to be on our rung?
If you think once again you can paper over cracks
You’re problems have only just begun
Now you need our help and you’re chucking us money
Too little too late, I’m afraid
Yes-we’re mopping up/your/mess once again
‘Cos we’re in it together
Solidarity forever
But now you understand, my friends….
You’ve got it now, you’ve got it now, you’ve got it now
You’ve got it now, you’ve got it now, you’ve got it now…
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3. |
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Don’t grass on your neighbours
We do ourselves no favours
Living on lockdown’s no fun.
But you’re not the only one
Swanking in castles is alright for some
But right here on lockdown’s no fun
You saw your neighbour today
You phoned the Covid hotline to say
It was the third time he’d been out that day
You saw your neighbour today.
Now you’ve not talked to him before
Not so much as knocked on his door
But you decided to give him what for
Though you’ve not talked to him before
Turned out his wife had just died
And was all messed up inside
He needed space and you’d grassed like a snide
Turned out his wife has just died
You thought you’d give grassing a punt
And now you just look like a
You better think twice before pulling that stunt
You thought you’d give grassing a punt
Don’t grass on your neighbours
We do ourselves no favours
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4. |
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Covid 19 has given us a right scare
And getting hold of facts can be a nightmare
But my mate’s online in his pyjamas
Reading bullshit to add to the drama
Done his research?
He says he’s bossed it
But I reckon he’s proper fucking lost it
He said he saw Bill Gates on a 5G mast
Syringe full of vaccine pointing at my arse!
Hey mate what you on about?!!
Better watch your head there’s a conspiraloon about..
Last night we all had a Zoom party
He was on about the Illuminati
We got so bored we wanted to shoot him
Till someone realised there’s a button that can mute him
I sometimes worry he’ll get so confused
Like Hitler he’ll start on about the Jews
Yes folks, that’s a massive clue
About what conspiracies are doing to you!
Last night I dreamed all the flat earthers
Got together with he truthers and birthers
Antivax replaced actual facts
David Icke was king - that’s when I cracked
Before I knew it up became down
2 and 2 was five a smile became a frown
The world’s gone to shit we’re hell bound of course
But why d’you wanna put the cart before the horse???
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5. |
Key Worker
03:30
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6. |
Too Many Funerals
02:05
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I remember stories of refugees
Trapped in the Mediterranean Sea
Bringing their problems, death and disease
Someone on Facebook said so
Politicians said let’s slam the door
Those were the ones I voted for
We don’t want their sort on our shores
Someone on Facebook said so
Too many funerals x 3
Nothing to do with me
That was a few years down the line
Welcome to this promised land of mine
Whingers whinge but it’s all just fine
Someone on Facebook said so
They’re dying at the food bank right near here
But I’m loving those remainer tears
At least we’re not governed by commies and queers
Someone on Facebook said so
Too many funerals x 3
Nothing to do with me
That was before_the_pandemic came
Can’t get tested, who’s to blame?
Nurses unprotected oh the shame
Someone on Facebook said so
How I’d love to vote_with_my feet
But even without_lock-down no retreat
And a_man with a scythe stalking the street
Someone on Facebook said so
Too many funerals x 3
Oh mercy, mercy me
Cos now he’s come for me
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7. |
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Well the sunshine keeps on blazing through my windows
But the streets are all deserted in this town
And no-one’s down the rec with all their barbies
And no-one has a clue what’s going down
All you kids that keyed my car outside the front door
All you junkies on the street till god knows when
All you girls there on the junction after nightfall
I just want to see you again
Well in the shopping malls that throng the city centre
They-used-to walk around and stare all hypnotised
But these days it’s more like sci-fi dystopia
Covid shut their avaricious eyes
Brand obsessives, please, all is forgiven
Come back again and shop past ten pm
Consumerism may kill off the planet
But I just want to see you again.
All you ket heads and you phet heads and you crusties
All my festie fam, c’mon let’s go
See you down the front with all your flagons
We’ll down them at the Tarantism show
People say let’s just go back to normal
But what the hell does that mean, then, my friends?
Let’s build ourselves a whole different tomorrow
Oh I just want to see you again.
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Cosmo Cardiff, UK
".. a folksinger for our times with a veritable hive of bees in his bonnet..." Rob Adams, Edinburgh Fringe Review.
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